Fears of Traveling

I just booked my flight to AUSTRALIA! This place has basically been at the top of my bucket list to travel to for as long as I can remember. I’ve spent the past 4 months trying to plan a big international trip and after hours and hours and hours of time, dedication, research, planning, emailing, calling and all the works of trying to plan a trip, it’s finally booked. Soooo shouldn’t I be insanely excited? One hundred percent! But I’m not. Honestly, I’ve had anxiety all day today. Like really really bad anxiety. But why?! I’ve been trying to plan this trip for so long and it worked out that I’m going to a place I’ve always wanted to travel to…

Honestly, I’ve been kind of confused and frustrated as to why I’m not more excited. I should be bouncing off the walls excited. But I’m not. I think the reality of this trip is just now hitting me. I’ve had a very strong wandering heart recently, just wanting to travel, explore, and see the world. But it’s just kind of hitting me that this is the first trip like this that I’ve ever been on. This is the first trip I’ve ever planned where I’m going completely by myself. I mean, I’ve gone on plenty of mission trips or outdoor trips where I didn’t know anyone going into it, but I was always going somewhere to meet up with other people going on the trip with me. 

But this is different. This trip is just me, myself, and I. I’m gonna to be traveling with WorkAway, so I will be staying with a host family. So it’s not like I’ll be completely alone, but it’s just different than going on a planned trip with a group. I am going to this country because I have the time, the money, and honestly, I just kind of feel like it. There is almost nothing about this trip that is planned. I will be living and working with this family near Melbourne and that’s about all I know. It’s not like every other trip where there are events and excursions planned out by someone who knows so far more about trip planning than I do. This is the first time I am traveling just for the freaking heck of traveling. And that is crazy exciting, but at the same time it’s crazy scary! 

I also don’t travel super well. I absolutely love going to new places, but I don’t exactly enjoy the act of getting there. I easily get motion sick and I just get really antsy being confined in a small space for an extended period of time. And just in case you didn’t know, the flights from the States to Australia are about 14 hours and 47 minutes. Fourteen hours. I feel like I’m going to die just thinking about sitting down in the same spot for that long. The absolute first thing that I made sure to put in my suitcase was Dramamine so hopefully that’ll be able to knock me out for most of it. The longest flight I’ve ever been on was about 4 hours and honestly, that was pretty long for me. This flight terrifies me. Also, the realization that I have to do it twice does not give me any more comfort. 

When trying to plan this trip, I did not realize how many things about it were going to scare me. One of my favorite parts about myself is my adventurous spirit, so I never thought big trips like this would scare me so much.  I guess we’re not all as invincible as we convince ourselves we are.

I have a thousand questions and worries running through my head right now. What if it’s not as fun as I’m hoping it is? What if I feel like I wasted all this money? What if the family doesn’t like me? What if I want to come home early? What if the weather stinks? What if I don’t make any friends while I’m there? What if I feel super alone? What if, what if, what if. These and thousands of other “what if’s” have been running through my head all day. 

Yes, it’s completely valid to be nervous about the things that could go wrong. But there are also a thousand things that could go right. Australia might be hands down the best trip I’ll ever go on in my entire life. But it also could not be. It could end up not really being a great experience. But I will never know that if I let fear keep me from going. 

Traveling is SCARY. But it’s also amazing, and fun, and adventurous, and exciting, and fulfilling, and so many other things. Life is about doing things that scare the heck out of you, and in doing these things you learn and grow and experience so many incredible things. 

I am seriously super nervous about this trip for many different reasons, but no matter how amazing or not amazing this trip ends up being, I will learn things from it, I will see a part of the world I’ve always wanted to, and I will have done something that seriously scares the heck out of me.

One of my favorite quotes is, “You can’t fall if you don’t climb; but there is no joy in living your whole life on the ground.” Yes, you absolutely can live your life very comfortably and never take risks or do things that scare you, but you might end up missing out on some amazing adventures. Don’t let fear stop you from living! Book that plane ticket, accept that job, run that marathon, apply for that college. Do things that scare you because those are the things that make life worth living!

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Be anxious about nothing, but instead pray about everything. Let your requests be known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds. Isaiah 41:10

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