Closed Doors Always Lead to Open Ones

If you read my post called “What the heck, God?!” then you probably know that this past year has been really hard, and pretty frustrating for me, full of closed door after closed door. When I was finishing my internship at Walt Disney World last June, I fully believed that I was being called to become a full-time foreign missionary with a Catholic organization called Family Missions Company. After spending a month in Ecuador on a mission trip with this company, I prayerfully realized that this wasn’t the right place for me for me at the state of life I was in at the time. Even though this specific organization wasn’t where I was supposed to be at the time, I still had a deep desire in my heart for ministry or missionary work. During my time in Ecuador, I met a guy who helped me to realize that I wanted to changed my route a little and decided I wanted to get into outdoor/wilderness ministry.

I started looking into this field, and I found a company called COR Expeditions, which is a Catholic outdoor ministry based out of Wyoming. I then had a very deep desire in my heart to become a missionary for this company. I spent two weeks with this company taking my Wilderness First Responder course and getting to know everyone and how their program works. I had basically started packing my bags and getting ready to move to Wyoming to work for this company. Sadly, it ended up not working out because I didn’t have the correct experience yet to become a missionary with them. They had actually offered me a position to work in administration for two years to work up to becoming a missionary. But if you know me at all, you know I would go completely insane at a desk job. So, I sadly turned down this offer and figured I could get the outdoor experience that I needed through a different route. I applied for multiple other outdoor ministry companies, and many of them gave me the same answer, that they would love to have me once I get enough outdoor experience.

So, I started applying for entry level outdoor leadership positions. I was open to moving almost anywhere in the entire country, so I was applying pretty much everywhere. While I was applying for all of these jobs, I was also applying for marine biology jobs, since that is one of my deepest passions (and what my college degree is in). I was specifically looking for marine biology jobs in places where I would also have the opportunity to work or volunteer for outdoor companies, so I could get outdoor experience that way. I applied for an aquarist position at an aquarium in West Virginia, and I thought I had this job in the bag. Spoiler alert, I didn’t. They ended up accepting someone else.

At this point, I was so unbelievably frustrated and just wanted to move literally anywhere because I was just feeling very stuck at home in Louisiana. Knowing that I really wanted to get into the outdoor world and also hoping for that to lead to working for an outdoor ministry company, I tried finding a place where I could move to and just start somewhere and work my way up. After doing lots of research and reflecting, I decided I was going to move to Denver. My original game plan was to pack up my car, and just go and figure it out as I went. Not exactly the best idea when you have no place to live, in the dead middle of winter in Colorado. Due to this thought, I started looking on multiple roommate finder websites to hopefully find a place. I talked to probably about 20 different potential roommates and for various reasons, every single one of them just didn’t work out. After being incredibly frustrated with that for a few weeks, I found a few girls living in a Catholic women’s house, very close to one of the best young adult churches around, with insanely cheap rent. I basically put all my hope into this housing situation to work out. Unfortunately, they told me they found someone else to take over the room.

This was honestly my breaking point. I literally cried for days because I was just so frustrated and overwhelmed with all these closed doors after closed doors. I decided I needed to take a break and stop this frantic job/roommate search and just take some time to chill out and really reflect on what I wanted. About a week later, I got a call from one of the outdoor companies in Colorado that I had applied for offering me an interview. I did the interview, and they ended up offering me a seasonal position! Unfortunately, it was November when they offered it to me and the job wasn’t starting until June. That’s seven months in case you weren’t aware. Seven months. I was super excited about this job offer and finally getting a chance to move up near Denver, but I basically just had to wait around for seven months for it to start. I tried to find a way to move up there and just get a job maybe at a coffee shop just to have something before the summer. Unfortunately, you can’t find any jobs or roommates looking for someone to just be there for a few months before moving out. I was still feeling very ready to leave home, so I knew I needed to find some kind of way to get out and travel.

When I was talking to one of my friends about this, he asked if I had ever heard of WWOOF or WorkAway. WWOOF stands for World Wide Opportunities in Organic Farming. That, and WorkAway are both work exchange programs where you can live with a host family anywhere in the world and you get free housing and food in exchange for a few hours of work a day. I had heard of these companies, but they were just kind of in the back of my mind and I hadn’t really thought much about them. As soon as I started thinking about the possibility of traveling with one of these companies, I was absolutely hooked on the idea. You have to pay a membership fee to get started with these companies, and I ended up choosing WorkAway mostly because you only had to pay one flat fee, whereas with WWOOF, you had to pay a separate fee for every area of the globe you wanted to check out. I was completely open to going almost anywhere in the world, so I didn’t want to limit myself to just one area, so I decided to keep my options open.

Being incredibly go-with-the-flow and open to go almost anywhere (and also incredibly indecisive), it made this search so unbelievably difficult. I would spend hours and hours a day on WorkAway just scrolling through the thousands and thousands of host families they have all over the world trying to decide where to go. I narrowed it down to 20 families and I sent them all messages, saying I would love to come stay with them and asking for more details about the experience. This list continually got smaller and smaller, either because the family wasn’t going to be available for my time frame, or they already had enough volunteers, or they just weren’t responding. I originally wanted to travel for about 3 months because that was about how much time I had before I needed to head up to Colorado. Unfortunately, due to some important family events, birthdays, and graduations, my available time kept getting shorter and shorter until I was down to only have one month to travel.

After all these messages to the host families, the number one place on my list, Romania, emailed me back and said everything was good and me staying with them was going to work out! I was beyond excited and I spent a few days looking up flights and figuring out travel details. I literally had my credit card number typed into Expedia to book my flight, then I checked my email and the family emailed me back letting me know that I was the only volunteer signed up so far, and they really liked to have alone family time, and they lived pretty far from civilization. I’m definitely more of an extroverted person, and I get lonely very easily. Due to this, and with a broken heart, I decided not to stay with this family. This email came to me about a week and a half before I was planning on leaving, so now I was just overcome with anxiety trying to find another host family to stay with on such short notice since I had already told every other host family I was talking to that I was no longer interested. I basically had to start my search from scratch and I was again getting so overwhelmed by all the possibilities. At one point, I just had to put my laptop down and walk away to give myself a break from searching.

A few days later, I actually got a message from a host family in Australia offering for me to come stay with them. I checked out their profile and realized they had exactly what I was looking for: living in a beautiful, natural area, learning about permaculture, and taking care of kids. Also, Australia has probably been at the top of my bucket list my whole life! I responded to her email saying I was 100% interested and I was already starting to pack my bags! The next day, I found a flight and got everything booked.

I left a week later. I first flew up to Utah for a camping and climbing trip with the outdoor company I would be working for the upcoming summer. This trip was absolutely amazing and I had so much fun and met some incredible people! We spent 5 days in the desert together camping, climbing, canyoneering, and just exploring! It was exactly what my soul was craving.

From Utah, I flew straight to Australia. This trip ended up being one of the most incredible experience of my life so far and I am beyond greatful that it worked out that way. This trip gave me an incredible amount of growth and self-confidence and it also sparked a crazy deep wanderlust in my soul. After Australia, I was home for about a week, then I got to go visit some friends in Jacksonville (one of my favorite places in the world) for about two weeks. From Florida, I did a four-day solo road trip up to Colorado, which was absolutely amazing! That was the first big road trip I had ever done, and it also gave me lots of self-confidence knowing I could do a cross-country trip like that on my own. That was also the beginning of this nomadic lifestyle of living on the road, which I am loving so much.

I drove up to Colorado for the summer to work for an outdoor adventure company called Avid4Adventure and I loved every second of it. It was absolutely the most mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting job, but it was also one of the most fun and rewarding jobs I’ve ever had. I learned so much, I got to live in the middle of a valley, completely surrounded by mountains, I got to live with amazing, similar-minded people to me, and I literally got paid to go climbing, white water rafting, backpacking, and so much more! Not a bad gig, huh?

I’m now on Catalina Island in California on week seven of my new job with Naturalists at Large. For this job, I get to travel all over the state to different state and national parks, leading school programs where we teach kids all about the different ecosystems and all about the flora and fauna of California. While on the island, we get to go kayaking, snorkeling, hiking, and learn all about the marine life on the island and I am loving every second of it!

Both of these jobs are giving me the opportunity to see beautiful parts of the country that I’ve never gotten the chance to explore yet. I am also getting paid to live a super rad, outdoor lifestyle, which is exactly what I want in life right now. After my job in California finishes in November, I am planning to road trip around the north west for a couple of months, maybe see Oregon and Washington, since I’ve never been up there before. Then after this, I am planning to get a one-way flight and spend about eight months to a year traveling and backpacking all over Europe. This is something I’ve been dreaming about doing for years and I literally cannot wait for it!

Over the past six months, I have felt more at peace and alive than I think I ever have. Part of this has come from growing and just learning more and more about myself. I have realized that I am more at peace with seasonal jobs right now. The idea of a full-time job kind of gives me crazy anxiety. I want to work my butt off for a season, save up all that I made from that job and use that money for my next adventure. I’ve also learned that I have a much deeper wanderlust in my soul than I ever realized. I have a heart-wrenching desire to see the world right now. I want to travel and experience the world on my own before I settle into a full-time job, or get married or, buy a house…you know all the “adult” things. Also, part of this joy and peace that I have been experiencing has come from living a much simpler life. I pretty much live in my car right now. If I’m not working a school program, I’m somewhere on the road, going on adventures, finding some BLM land to camp out in my car for the night. And life is good. So good, I could not even put it into words. Living on the road is exactly what my soul was craving and I’m so blessed I discovered that.

I constantly reflect on how complete I feel at this state in life and how I got here. And I always realize how crazy the sequence of life can be sometimes. Every event in my life has led me to where I am right now. Looking back, I realized that in 9^th grade, if my brother never convinced me to try pole vaulting, then I never would have met my coach, who was the only who told me to check out University of North Florida for college. I ended up going to school there, which helped me to strengthen my love of nature and helped me to absolutely fall in love with rock climbing. After UNF, with my degree in Marine Biology, I was able to get a job at SeaWorld, which then helped me get a job at the aquarium in Disney World. I had a few months free between these two jobs and one of my friends convinced me to go on a mission trip during that time. That mission trip sparked my desire to become a full-time missionary, which led me to my month-long mission trip to Ecuador. On this trip, I met a guy who helped me to realize my desire to work in wilderness ministry instead. This desire led me to Wyoming, where I got my Wilderness First Responder certification, which also gave me many connections to the outdoor industry. From there, I was able to hear about Avid4Adventure and Naturalists at Large. I was actually able to get the job at Naturalists at Large due to the fact that I would be working for Avid4Adventure before. The desire to travel before starting this summer job led me to Australia, which insanely sparked my nomadic heart, which is hopefully leading me to Europe in a few months, which will lead me to countless other adventures!

It honestly just blows my mind every time I think about how every moment in my life has led me to this exact moment, sitting on the beach on Catalina Island, writing to you guys about my life. This past year was so incredibly hard for me because I was just not at peace and my heart was so unsettled. But every single second before this one had to happen the way it did for me to get to this exact spot. I could not even begin to count how many closed doors I faced this year, but pushing through that time and pursuing my dreams, they all opened a thousand times that. And as hard as it was, I wouldn’t trade it all for the world. I absolutely love where I am in life right now and I am constantly figuring myself and life out and I wouldn’t know half the things I do today if I didn’t have to deal with what I have this past year. And it all came from just persevering in the midst of the hardships.

If you’re going through a time of rejection and confusion and closed doors, it honestly sucks, I get it. I really get it. But I want to encourage you to keep pushing through. Keep working towards your dreams. Keep kicking those doors down, or finding ways around them. In that pursuit, you might discover that you have new dreams. Then you can pursue those. You are not limited by your current desires. They can always grow and adapt to where you are in life at that moment.

Guys, don’t let a closed door be the end for you. Find a way around it. Find another path. I’m telling you, you might enjoy that path more. And if you don’t, then you will at least have learned something from it. No’s are not the end of the road. They should be motivation to try to reach your goal even more. Keep going, it’s worth it! I promise.

Do you enjoy reading about all my travels and adventures? Would you like to help my adventures continue by supporting me financially? If you do, then please know, that would mean the world to me! To do this, you can go to my Patreon page to choose which level you would like to support me at! Thanks for your love and support and remember to make every day an adventure!